There are days when I end up feeling numb and senseless. These feelings are always made to associate with the hormonal imbalances for the fairer species without a doubt. How often do you stop over and feel that Life is not fair to you and there is something that needs to be done. According to many a philosopher Life is definitely not fair and it would never be; but would you sit there thinking about the obvious all the time or would you do something in order to overcome the feeling.
How would one be able to overcome the feeling of helplessness? I often wonder with hope that there is something that does wonders to cheer oneself up without obliging to indulge in senseless chocolate. Why do women always resort to chocolate in difficult times? I had never for once been able to find a true fact about chocolate – “Good for heart” does always please me though!! What is there in chocolate that makes people crave so bad? I have known weird and wonderful confessions involving chocolate escapades and always wondered if I would ever come to such a situation - may be this is one of those days I might indulge myself?
Tuesday, 14 December 2010
Monday, 6 December 2010
Change
It has been a cumbersome two and half weeks and nothing seem to change whatsoever except the wretched climate; who ever heard of snow and ice in November? Life is prone to change sooner or later and there are short term changes to look forward to. I am yet to find change in my life and then be able to reply when I receive the stereotypic questions about how I am finding my new life; does it really change by itself or is there any part for me to play to change it for good?
I guess I am happy the way I am and would not want to change it for anything and anyone.
I guess I am happy the way I am and would not want to change it for anything and anyone.
Friday, 22 October 2010
Sacred step
Past few weeks have been hectic and lots of preparation for the big looming day ahead – not physically but mentally! I could never think that I had it in me to do so much in 3 months. I guess this is my greatest achievement so far as I am now 3 stone lighter and 3 dress sizes thinner and still with a zeal to go on; all of this for that one day in life where I would be the centre of attraction and the apple of so many pairs of eyes. Would I really be that I wonder – I have butterflies in my stomach thinking of the big day and also wondering if it would be a wonderful or a bitter experience?
I have always dreaded this day since I turned 21 and it is no different now even after all these years; it is not about me but about the people and the sheer number of them that get together for an ultimate aim to judge me. I sometimes feel I am all alone in the stage of events and it is just happening on its own course and I have absolutely no control over it; it is this feeling of helplessness that I dread. I hope and pray that the events unfold as simply as everyone claims them to be..
I have always dreaded this day since I turned 21 and it is no different now even after all these years; it is not about me but about the people and the sheer number of them that get together for an ultimate aim to judge me. I sometimes feel I am all alone in the stage of events and it is just happening on its own course and I have absolutely no control over it; it is this feeling of helplessness that I dread. I hope and pray that the events unfold as simply as everyone claims them to be..
Thursday, 2 September 2010
Majestic
It is often quite interesting to know the perception of different people who visit India and give out their opinion out and loud. I have encountered quite a few people who believe that they know everything about this majestic country after touring it for a meagre seven days. Some of the favourite things mentioned would be the cows meandering freely on the motor way and the inter city disco buses. I am often intrigued to find that some of these are even printed out in the travel leaflets at certain agencies.
Being away from my home country, I get to visit once a year and even then I cannot keep up with the changes that had gone through and I end up in the wrong place. I have noticed the purposeful depiction of certain tourist attractions which do nothing to promote the secular, diverse and rich culture that we have. It is a known fact that ours is a developing country and there are lows and highs associated with it; which does not necessarily mean that everyone drinks running water and cows are left to roam freely in the country.
Religion in India has a whole new dimension which might seem as ancient beliefs and meaningless rituals but it is a personal perception and this in no way means that it is not prone to discussion. I would only suggest that the fame of the origin of ancient civilisation should not be exploited for entertaining clueless tourists. There is a reason behind every ritual and belief and there is also apt explanation for enthusiastic scholars like Mark Twain etc.
I am proud to be a part of my country, which is the origin of a lot of fundamental building blocks from science to mathematics and its rich heritage and culture.
Being away from my home country, I get to visit once a year and even then I cannot keep up with the changes that had gone through and I end up in the wrong place. I have noticed the purposeful depiction of certain tourist attractions which do nothing to promote the secular, diverse and rich culture that we have. It is a known fact that ours is a developing country and there are lows and highs associated with it; which does not necessarily mean that everyone drinks running water and cows are left to roam freely in the country.
Religion in India has a whole new dimension which might seem as ancient beliefs and meaningless rituals but it is a personal perception and this in no way means that it is not prone to discussion. I would only suggest that the fame of the origin of ancient civilisation should not be exploited for entertaining clueless tourists. There is a reason behind every ritual and belief and there is also apt explanation for enthusiastic scholars like Mark Twain etc.
I am proud to be a part of my country, which is the origin of a lot of fundamental building blocks from science to mathematics and its rich heritage and culture.
Thursday, 19 August 2010
Colour
Colour colour which colour do you want? Red, Blue, Green and Yellow!
I guess most of us remember this game while at school along with the messy notebook paper folded to fit across thumb and index fingers of both the hands. I always wondered why the game always had only the prime colours. My favourite colours have always been the mellow yellows and the baby pinks; be it clothing, accessories or stationery. I feel the English are less adventurous when it comes to dressing even though there are some world famous English colours floating around. I feel the official colour of Great Britain need to be Black!
I have been employed for three complete years in this country and I have seen only a handful of people who include colours in their work wardrobe. Through my wise ponders and interviews I have been told that women feel less figure conscious wearing black and some men claimed that black suit gave them an air of importance. I come across an impeaching statement of how one can never find that perfect little black dress they always wanted. However, I still like the way the English dress and worth mentioning their manners.
If the physical aspect of colour can be set aside, I still see colours in my every day encounters on the train, in the station and even at my work place. I can see the green when a certain group of weight watchers discuss about how much weight they have lost within last few weeks. I can see the radiant yellow in the lady’s face when on her last day at work before her maternity leave. I can see the baby pink on cheeks of the handsome struggling actor early in the morning when he disembarks from a stuffy underground train. I can see the blue on a Monday morning at the queue for vending coffee at the machine. I can see the colour black at management meetings discussing about 55% management costs.
The whole world, as we experience it visually, comes to us through the mystic realm of colour – Hans Hofmann
I guess most of us remember this game while at school along with the messy notebook paper folded to fit across thumb and index fingers of both the hands. I always wondered why the game always had only the prime colours. My favourite colours have always been the mellow yellows and the baby pinks; be it clothing, accessories or stationery. I feel the English are less adventurous when it comes to dressing even though there are some world famous English colours floating around. I feel the official colour of Great Britain need to be Black!
I have been employed for three complete years in this country and I have seen only a handful of people who include colours in their work wardrobe. Through my wise ponders and interviews I have been told that women feel less figure conscious wearing black and some men claimed that black suit gave them an air of importance. I come across an impeaching statement of how one can never find that perfect little black dress they always wanted. However, I still like the way the English dress and worth mentioning their manners.
If the physical aspect of colour can be set aside, I still see colours in my every day encounters on the train, in the station and even at my work place. I can see the green when a certain group of weight watchers discuss about how much weight they have lost within last few weeks. I can see the radiant yellow in the lady’s face when on her last day at work before her maternity leave. I can see the baby pink on cheeks of the handsome struggling actor early in the morning when he disembarks from a stuffy underground train. I can see the blue on a Monday morning at the queue for vending coffee at the machine. I can see the colour black at management meetings discussing about 55% management costs.
The whole world, as we experience it visually, comes to us through the mystic realm of colour – Hans Hofmann
Monday, 16 August 2010
A drop of water
What would a tear in the eye depict? My eyes water not on glee or wrath but because of the elements of nature. Being the owl-eyed lass I am everything goes straight in there: be it a heavy gush of wind, warm winter sun or just a bright sunny day my eyes water for unknown reason and on-lookers have a chance to pity me for being teary eyed. It happened this morning when there was a howling wind and I was running to catch my train. I did eventually rolled on to the train but was somehow blind for a second because my eyes were filled with water. It is one of those days when I had not refilled my hand bag tissues and had nothing but my shirt sleeve to dry my eyes.
I had sympathetic on-lookers trying to think about a sane reason why I might be crying my eyes out on a train in full public view of about a hundred passengers. I had no plausible reason except to play the part and gain sympathy – “little attention seeking me” at eight in the morning eyeing the handsome man who was standing next to me. It is amazing how non interested souls become attentive to human emotions or a sign of emotion rather than actual humans. My eyes eventually dried out and the good looking man got out at the next station – journey continued…
I had sympathetic on-lookers trying to think about a sane reason why I might be crying my eyes out on a train in full public view of about a hundred passengers. I had no plausible reason except to play the part and gain sympathy – “little attention seeking me” at eight in the morning eyeing the handsome man who was standing next to me. It is amazing how non interested souls become attentive to human emotions or a sign of emotion rather than actual humans. My eyes eventually dried out and the good looking man got out at the next station – journey continued…
Thursday, 29 July 2010
Psycho-Analysis
Events occur in life that do not have a chain nor are they related to anyone particularly concerned with you, but beliefs are still persistent in the world that someone can actually possess healing powers. How often have you not come across a person who did not claim that he know of a certain ‘Guru’ in the Himalayas who can provide salvation and if you are lucky enough you would no longer have the heart to return to reality?
During my younger years my Mom believed in this person called the Saibaba who is considered as the incarnation of Lord Vishnu from the Hindu Mythology and had the power to grant any wish if you were worthy enough; even though my mom never had any interest in monetary grants she always wished for one thing progress of her children and I guess she was granted that either by the person she believed to have granted or by her own ability; which can never be doubted.
There are isolated incidents of faith that prevail in the masses about someone giving birth at 60 and someone being able speak after 20 years of age – these are termed exceptional medical phenomenon by our scientists but more faithful souls call miracles of God. I have always been sceptical about taking in such beliefs but I would certainly add to the spiel and claim that according to my birth star I have the power to talk to the dead or I can see the friendly ghosts when I take my midnight walks.
Every time A visits his people in the home country he is taken to this person who claims to extract his future by looking at his hand – he claims that some of them have been true and others he forced them out of his mind; I still feel there is a certain element of psychotic belief that laid claims to this kind of behaviour our elders associate with…
During my younger years my Mom believed in this person called the Saibaba who is considered as the incarnation of Lord Vishnu from the Hindu Mythology and had the power to grant any wish if you were worthy enough; even though my mom never had any interest in monetary grants she always wished for one thing progress of her children and I guess she was granted that either by the person she believed to have granted or by her own ability; which can never be doubted.
There are isolated incidents of faith that prevail in the masses about someone giving birth at 60 and someone being able speak after 20 years of age – these are termed exceptional medical phenomenon by our scientists but more faithful souls call miracles of God. I have always been sceptical about taking in such beliefs but I would certainly add to the spiel and claim that according to my birth star I have the power to talk to the dead or I can see the friendly ghosts when I take my midnight walks.
Every time A visits his people in the home country he is taken to this person who claims to extract his future by looking at his hand – he claims that some of them have been true and others he forced them out of his mind; I still feel there is a certain element of psychotic belief that laid claims to this kind of behaviour our elders associate with…
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
Work place Blues
It has been a month and a few days since I moved to my new work place and all I could think about was how I missed my colleagues at the old team. Being in a close knit team and with a building of not more than 50 people, I would definitely say everyone knew each other pretty well. I can never forget the few months all of them stood by me when I had health difficulties and always enquired about my well being. I can never count the endless hours I have spent in the A&E with just my manager at my bedside waiting for my other half to come and take care of me.
I dearly miss all the wonderful people and the way I got used to feeling one of them. At the new place there is no team as such and being an open plan on each floor of the building it doesn’t help in developing a sense of belonging. I feel quite robotic; get to work, back to home – no occasional conversation and no sense of being there for some one. I can be a bit critical and try to explain myself that I have not tried enough. Anyone who had worked with me for a few days can understand that I have a smile a lot syndrome which can never be far off from me and I guess that is why people are sceptical to talk to me.
I have tried all the conventional conversation starters and always failed in a miserable chain reaction. Well things would get better and people would start recognising others as resources dwindle and the left over’s have to pick previous post holder’s legacy.
May be then I would not feel the need for someone to talk to me.
I dearly miss all the wonderful people and the way I got used to feeling one of them. At the new place there is no team as such and being an open plan on each floor of the building it doesn’t help in developing a sense of belonging. I feel quite robotic; get to work, back to home – no occasional conversation and no sense of being there for some one. I can be a bit critical and try to explain myself that I have not tried enough. Anyone who had worked with me for a few days can understand that I have a smile a lot syndrome which can never be far off from me and I guess that is why people are sceptical to talk to me.
I have tried all the conventional conversation starters and always failed in a miserable chain reaction. Well things would get better and people would start recognising others as resources dwindle and the left over’s have to pick previous post holder’s legacy.
May be then I would not feel the need for someone to talk to me.
Monday, 26 July 2010
Inception
Well I am not a die hard fan of Leo, so for fans who are expecting a huge amount of ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaahs’ might be disappointed. Coming to the movie it took me and the poor man a good 15 minutes to understand what the movie was all about – I strictly protest for a narrative before the scenes start to unfold or fold. It would not hurt the image of the movie if it had an epilogue of what “extraction” or “inception” is all about before the plot thickens.
I cannot give credit to the protagonist for his immense ability of mesmerizing or at least acting. On the other hand, I found the concept quite intriguing – who can think of weaving such a complex mixture of frames from dreams? The editing and special effects in the movie were awesome; especially when the movie comes to an abrupt end before the top stops (or not) revolving.
Highlights of the movie include the anti-gravity kick in the elevator and the run in of water when the white van touches the river in the end. The editing and clarity of the image magnifies the situation and the magnanimous set is glorified with the story line. I would not know who else would have made justice to the character other than Leo but he certainly is not my favourite for this kind of screenplay which is quite heavy and complicated.
It certainly is worth watching once but I would not bother to view it again just to understand the plot when there is Wikipedia on my fingertips.
I cannot give credit to the protagonist for his immense ability of mesmerizing or at least acting. On the other hand, I found the concept quite intriguing – who can think of weaving such a complex mixture of frames from dreams? The editing and special effects in the movie were awesome; especially when the movie comes to an abrupt end before the top stops (or not) revolving.
Highlights of the movie include the anti-gravity kick in the elevator and the run in of water when the white van touches the river in the end. The editing and clarity of the image magnifies the situation and the magnanimous set is glorified with the story line. I would not know who else would have made justice to the character other than Leo but he certainly is not my favourite for this kind of screenplay which is quite heavy and complicated.
It certainly is worth watching once but I would not bother to view it again just to understand the plot when there is Wikipedia on my fingertips.
Wednesday, 21 July 2010
The story of a cross- eyed bee
It was spring; what is not to like about it and what more could you ask for? The bee lived with his mates and found spring very encouraging to travel to unknown land and discover new flowers; there was one thing Boris the bee did not like- being alone. He was gregarious and always wanted other bees around him, showing off his new crib and trying to make other bees identify with his desire of being so.
One day Boris the bee and his friends decided to visit the nearby forest to look up new spring flowers. The plan was to meet at one of the mates’ place and start flying in a group as the forest was a good few miles away. The date and time was set and all the bees agreed on the timelines. Boris the bee managed to get to his mates’ place on time to find that his mate had gone out for a quickie with a few others and left a message that they would soon be back to collect Boris the bee and had left the drone of the crib to take care of him.
Boris the bee was upset about the change in plans; more than the plan he was upset that his mates had left him waiting – how often have one of us felt the same as Boris? Do we really take our friends for granted? We do feel that we know someone inside out and decide to take liberties with the formality and attitude; how long should you know a person in order to relax on the formal attitude?
What should be your attitude towards your friends? I can never be formal with my best mates and it’s the same with the person I am in relationship with but when it comes to good friends do they still expect me to be formal in behaviour? Does it depend on circumstances or the occasion you are meeting them for? I physically and mentally live at Ponders end always with my thinking cap on – what amount of formality would you maintain with your good friends!!!
One day Boris the bee and his friends decided to visit the nearby forest to look up new spring flowers. The plan was to meet at one of the mates’ place and start flying in a group as the forest was a good few miles away. The date and time was set and all the bees agreed on the timelines. Boris the bee managed to get to his mates’ place on time to find that his mate had gone out for a quickie with a few others and left a message that they would soon be back to collect Boris the bee and had left the drone of the crib to take care of him.
Boris the bee was upset about the change in plans; more than the plan he was upset that his mates had left him waiting – how often have one of us felt the same as Boris? Do we really take our friends for granted? We do feel that we know someone inside out and decide to take liberties with the formality and attitude; how long should you know a person in order to relax on the formal attitude?
What should be your attitude towards your friends? I can never be formal with my best mates and it’s the same with the person I am in relationship with but when it comes to good friends do they still expect me to be formal in behaviour? Does it depend on circumstances or the occasion you are meeting them for? I physically and mentally live at Ponders end always with my thinking cap on – what amount of formality would you maintain with your good friends!!!
Tuesday, 20 July 2010
"Tubed"
Stuffy, smelly and overcrowded – if any one of you out there has been working in London city you might catch what I am trying to convey here; yes I am referring to the famous London Tube which started as the city’s pride and honour in 1867.
It is an unusual experience travelling with so many people for brief periods of time in a confined box. You stand so close to another human being yet you are so far away from their world. If you are an “Anthro-enthusiast” (I don’t know if this word exists but I hope it does) and do not might staring at people – not rudely but subtly, I find Tube journey can be quite interesting.
I find work for all my senses even though the olfactory one gets a bit more work to do – if you are bit lucky you get to sample all the latest perfumes if not there is a chance you might get out of the carriage feeling sick. My safest approach to life has always been pragmatic - any interview my best answer would be that I am a quick learner and a great team player; observing people had made me realise how fortunate I am for being a human.
I learnt a lot about culture and the differences in it, the emotions of human heart and the ubiquitous sense of freedom and race and finally the timings of prime time traffic
It is an unusual experience travelling with so many people for brief periods of time in a confined box. You stand so close to another human being yet you are so far away from their world. If you are an “Anthro-enthusiast” (I don’t know if this word exists but I hope it does) and do not might staring at people – not rudely but subtly, I find Tube journey can be quite interesting.
I find work for all my senses even though the olfactory one gets a bit more work to do – if you are bit lucky you get to sample all the latest perfumes if not there is a chance you might get out of the carriage feeling sick. My safest approach to life has always been pragmatic - any interview my best answer would be that I am a quick learner and a great team player; observing people had made me realise how fortunate I am for being a human.
I learnt a lot about culture and the differences in it, the emotions of human heart and the ubiquitous sense of freedom and race and finally the timings of prime time traffic
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)